This is the photo of me in Jewish Community in Lodz. The photo was taken in Lodz in the 1980’s during some prayers.
My wife died on 18th April 2002. She had surgery. That leg, all the time. Wounds kept opening… Recently she was sick, we don't really know with what, she probably had a stomach tumor. She was suffering for 2 years. She's buried at the Jewish cemetery. I suspected there would be no life for me. 56 or 57 years we were together, married. I can't find myself until this day. I was sick, I went to hospital twice, but the younger son visits me, and so it slowly goes… I also started going to the community, I'm socially active. Once I was active on the board for disabled war veterans, but now I can't due to my health. And I started going out on Saturdays, Fridays. So that I am among people, make contacts. For many years I was the president of the community, now I am vice-president. I resigned, I didn't feel strong enough to keep doing it.
My religion was really just about following tradition. We used to have discussions among us friends. Also about whether God exists or not. Opinions varied. We all had doubts. At that age you had doubts in general. I conformed to the religion, but not in a barbarian way, in a more humane way. As long as I was little I used to go to the synagogue with Father to pray, on holidays and always on Saturdays. Later, when I was 15, 16, I did it less and less. In the end I decided there is some higher power that controls the world without our knowledge. It definitely has no beard and no human shapes. It's just a spirit. Because the Jewish religion sees God not in a human form, but in the form of a spirit. But later I had a depression, to be honest, when the war broke out, I decided that in reality everything is inconceivable.
When my wife died everything changed. She died on 18th April 2002. She had surgery. That leg, all the time. Wounds kept opening… Recently she was sick, we don't really know with what, she probably had a stomach tumor. She was suffering for 2 years. She's buried at the Jewish cemetery. After that I suspected there would be no life for me. 56 or 57 years we were together, married. I can't find myself until this day. I was sick, I went to hospital twice... I also started going to the community. I'm socially active. Once I was active on the board for disabled war veterans, but now I can't due to my health. So that I am among people, make contacts. For many years I was the president of the community, now I am vice-president. I resigned, I didn't feel strong enough to keep doing it. Today I am going there on Saturdays and Fridays.
